What to do before arriving in Moscow:
1. Start “To-Do” List (whew! Glad I got that out of the way!)
2. Pack suit case
3. Agonize over choice of shirts. (“I don’t care if it can’t be understood in Russian, my ‘Pen Fifteen’ tee is a classic!”)
4. Pack toiletries. You can NEVER have too many toiletries.
5. Stop exploding shaving cream from staining ‘Pen Fifteen’ shirt. “F&*#ing too many toiletries…”
6. Marvel at packing job.
7. Let Dad, a seasoned traveler, admire your packing skillz. “That’s WAY too small for nine days. Let me get you my suitcase.”
8. Move items to Gigantor, the suitcase from the Humongorealm. Marvel at how pro your suitcase is.
9. Realize that you’re not riding in a limo, you’re riding in a European-style (read: clown) car.
10. Move items back to small suitcase.
11. Pick books for airplane ride.
12. “Oh, man, I’ll look so impressive if I exit the plane with a dog-eared copy of Dostoyevsky!”
13. “Oh, man, I’m going to look like such a sycophantic prick if I exit the plane with a dog-eared copy of Dostoyevsky.”
14. Pack Michael Chrichton.
15. Remind self to wear winter coat to airport.
16. Leave for airport.
17. Realize you forgot winter coat.
18. As long as you’re back home, print off hard-copies of articles.
19. Printer is out of ink.
20. “Screw hard copies! I gots a mind like a steel trap!”
21. Leave for airport again.
22. “What were my topics?”
23. Buy airport breakfast. Congratulations! Half your travel money is now spent!
24. Learn Russian.
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